WILD SPACES

5/11

I am catching up on my secondary reading to contextualise disability, sex,BDSM and so on in a political, social and cultural context  and as I was reading Mia Mingus’s writing around disability justice and access intimacy as well as disability justice principles by Sins Invalid, I am much more clear on my positionality in this project, which is I feel that I am in a liminal space in my work, and to elaborate I have had epilepsy all my life, but it doesn’t affect my daily routine and life, other than being sensitive to flashing lights and strobe lighting, and having problems with sight, I would consider myself mostly able-bodied and as I was reading I realised this project was coming from a place of compassion to me rather than me strongly relating to it in a very personal sense, like so many other people out there in the world, but I am yet to solidify this position since there’s some aspects of the project which feels very personal to me, because I am highly sensitive on the skin, I don’t like how most products feel on my skin and wish it was accessible to my needs and cheaper, but today I spoke with my tutor about the various concerns I have regarding my project and the future and I have to really map out my thoughts, structure and so on to help me navigate the future after the course and so on!

12/11

I finished reading a relevant version of  Crip theory in sexuality, disability and ageing, and here the author talks about how sexuality and disability merges with in crip theory and Gallop also explores how crip theory has eliminated ageing studies and excludes late-onset disabilities, which is something we all often face in life as we grow older and our bodies change, and explores the possibilities into how as we grow older, we tend to enter a queer temporality, and challenged paradigmatic markers of life- marriage and reproduction, and in order to fully understand the lived experiences of disabilities and expand the horizons of crip theory we need to include ageing bodies as well, and this inclusive perspective broadens out the scope of stakeholders in this project and helps make it more inclusive as is the RQ: How can we create safer, more inclusive and accessible BDSM gear? In my opinion I think this framework sits well  even within the context of product design and embraces all the unique sexual experiences of all the stakeholders and provides a larger audience which is what inclusivity here means, although it might have it’s own cons of being too diverse or having many variables or factors play in, it shouldn’t matter much since even with a smaller age-group or a product or disability topology, the behavioural as well as personal choice, and user experience factors widely change, since how one experiences pleasure is so vastly different and personal and cannot be quantified or standardised in any way, even though we can standardise certain common features and key elements which may resonate within the community overtime and with further research and stakeholder feedback.

I also talked to Emma Sheppard, about my project and she seemed really interested in it, and talked about various concepts like misfit, body mind, it’s relation to how we interact with the world and how it differs for people who are disabled and use kink as a medium to express pain, and for it provides a framework of intimacy they’re comfortable with, including neurodivergent and autistic practitioners, and she mentioned about how it is important for people who’re able-bodied as well as disabled to mingle together, since sometimes when people don’t know how to interact they remove themselves from the situation, and sometimes people try to lend a hand to disabled people by trying to be helpful, but don’t realise that they might not be helping them, but rather invading personal space without permission, and a really nice example was that of glasses, they’re not a part of our body but overtime it does, and one would be uncomfortable if someone came up and just fiddled with them, and I asked her about her research process and why she had excluded people with learning disabilities, and her answer was that they’re often thought of as children, and have no sexual needs (infantilisation) and hence it becomes complicated to conduct research ethically due to various legal frameworks around giving informed consent for disabled people, which led us into seeing how legal frameworks in the UK, don’t necessarily have defined rules for informed consent and sexual needs for disabled people, especially if a person has a carer/support worker. 

Overall, I think this conversation helped me contextualise how pain is a part of a person’s identity and how someone blends with their pain and uses different frameworks to release it in a safer space. 

I also got feedback from one of my workshop participants and also some suggestions on how it can be improved and how their overalll experience was.

Enhance also got back to me, and I was interested in doing another workshop online, and suggested a time around 23/11 which was feasible for me, but to be very honest I could do it around anytime since I have most of the things ready to go, and the format really doesn’t change much, and this process is unique to my project and me as a designer in the kink sector. I wanted to invite people of both types of abilities to this workshop, focusing more on disabilities, but also able bodied who’re interested because they have partners who’re disabled or with access needs and so on, to try and see how this space and process would work with a mixture of both, and also how do the participants feel and so on, but I am waiting for a response from enhance and see how it goes! I have also scheduled a meeting with LeatherDelights to get a perspective from a manufacturer. 

14/11

I am also starting to think how to complete the products in time for the presentation, since I have not received workshop access but to handsew them would be an awful lot of time, so I am thinking of borrowing a friend’s machine, and seeing how that would work out! I would also have to go sourcing and get all the materials required, but not in excess, and I was thinking of sourcing the lining fabrics from swap shop since it is mostly prototypes, and I would want to have one extra sample for myself for further future references, and in terms of thinking how to acknowledge the people who’ve enabled and participated in the design process, I would want to name the products after them or have them choose a name for it, if they’re okay with it, since I feel this would give particular agency to the participants and also respects their time and opinion, and carries their individuality. 

20/11

Today, I spoke to Leather Delights again to gain feedback on where I am at at my project and so on, and I mentioned to them that I am finishing my MA and they asked me about my next steps and so on, and I mentioned my plans to them, and they suggested that I should probably figure out what my USP is, and to really see whether there’s a target audience since it’s a niche within a niche, but also to what extent are people going to be interested in the facilitation kind of process and so on, but also around how to market it and ensure the co-design aspect is getting conveyed, and recently I came across one of the kink clubs I go to looking for traders and vendors for christmas, I was interested in it, and figured it might be a good way for me to test and see how the business works, and how interested are people, to which one thing they mentioned was to have some products which are sorta an impulse buy, and aren’t too expensive to make, and can be sold for cheap and had also given me important advice on how to market the products and so on, but I think the most important learning was when I mentioned that I had contacted other manufacturers and they hadn’t responded, they mentioned it is because they simply don’t have the time or fear of copycats, which makes sense, since most of the products are similar in function, but vastly different in style, construction, ethos and belief, which makes them different from one another and their mailing list is the most popular way to engage their audience, and the most important advice was not to mix business with pleasure, which is very important, and to maintain good relationships with organisers, communities and so on, and any personal views of mine should remain personal, since they don’t represent business interests and such, and the main thing was to dive in and do it, and make it bold and clear about the co-design aspect of it, another important question asked was if I wanted to be the face of the brand or if I wanted to let the products speak for themselves, so that it continues in time even when I am not actively participating in the business and so on, so key decisions to make, and a lot to think about, and I am going to have to make a portfolio for myself to be able to apply for jobs and so on, and also make a business website called Wild Spaces, which is next steps for the future after the course. 

I also contacted grad support today and was asked to further co-ordinate with the visa, enterprise and IPR teams to help guide further decisions, but right now I feel like I should focus and take it one step at a time. 

How can we create, safer, more inclusive and accessible BDSM gear?

14/9

Today, as I was talking to my tutor about all my challenges and uncertainty as I am someone who works back from a deadline, I was quite keen on getting feedback around how to proceed and what other aspects my project involves, I realised a few more aspects which are important which is the aesthetics of it, as well as it’s appeal to daily wear and fashion, as well as how this intervention or the rest of my course informs my overall career, and I want to be able to maximise this workshop to be able to resonate with my overall process and methodology to be followed right now, and I think human-centered design is a good framework, since it gives the users power over the products and what they want and require and what they need, but I also have to keep in mind to structure the workshop around it to be able to understand and encapsulate the human experience, and also make the participants think about it and their experience with the product and having to provoke that thought in them is important, and also thinking about to what extent are they going to be interested in giving me their prototypes for a finished product and if they’d want to see a clean finished version of this product, because this product helps both the consumer and me as a researcher in a initial design stage to analyse, evaluate and understand consumer wants and needs, and another important thing which was pointed out to me was that making sure that I target audience who require special needs and have access requirements for BDSM gear, and this requires careful crafting of the message to be put up on FetLife, and also on whatsapp groups, instagram and so on, but overall I think following the methodology in “Innovating with people the business of inclusive design / editor-in-chief and author Onny Eikhaug, Norwegian Design Council, 2012.” but also research into other case studies of HCD in different sectors and the methodologies which have worked for them!

15/10

Today, I discussed my project with Betti Marenko, who’s a lecturer on the design department, and she provided some context into how I can liase multiple aspects of community building, product design, development, and awareness around disability and BDSM, and when I had mentioned my project and potential collaborations and they thought it was important for people to know that they do have resources and support to enable and work through their fears, anxieties and worries as well. I had also discussed about my problems and concerns around communicating with stakeholders since it is important to use the right terms and behave properly in a way to make everyone feel welcome and considerate, as a facilitator and moderator at this workshop, but I think it would be interesting to include Enhance at this workshop as well, and see if that would work!, they also suggested to start with entire a small topology of disability or products, but I think starting with a small topology of products would be good to get some feedback and work our ways through these products and design them to be more accessible and inclusive as well as safer, and I should definitely structure my workshop accordingly!  Definitely posting on Fetlife today, and spreading the word around for the workshop and having a deadline of 25/10 should be good! Co-creation workshop advert, this advert makes me so anxious since I’ve always dreamt of being an entrepreneur, and this workshop is probably the first step to making it happen in terms of  action, and it makes me so anxious like I want it to be perfect and don’t want things to go bad or wrong, even though things do go bad and wrong which is part of how life works and how research and business goes, but I hope for the best and I am trying to stay optimistic, but on the other hand I think I see some more organisations working around BDSM and disability and creating products to enhance or support the lifestyles, which is absolutely lovely! 

For the advert I used the help of ChatGPT to generate the image and some text, and I find it interesting about the image it generated for the workshop, as it has people in harnesses? For some reason people are naked and wearing harnesses to a vanilla event, which isn’t quite normally how things happen, but overall it’s definitely a good image, and I think it’d be quite interesting to try and see if I could get some products from any of the companies who’re willing to collaborate for my typology to have some ice-breakers and prompts for the event, but I guess I have to read up a lot and understand the principles in order to create this workshop, and I am hoping to get atleast 10 respondents to this event so that it is fruitful and hopefully Enhance will be able to collaborate!

22/10

Yay! I have 12/20 RSVP’s on the workshop and I’m kinda happy about it because it shows good interest, but I’d say a lot of participants came from when I posted on QK community and one of the person mentioned they have a friend who’d be really into it, and they posted it on their story on Instagram and they DM’d me for the workshop and it was refreshing to see so many people interested in the workshop, and on FetLife I have 7-10 people interested in going to the workshop, and I have denied people who have no information about them on their profile because they might be a catfish account or just someone who can’t put themselves, which makes for an awkward space and if they all rsvp going I’d have a full house, and it’d be good and shows that there’s importance around the topic and that the methodology works, and I have a certain diagram in terms of structure I am reiterating the structure I used in workshop 1.1 and 1.2 into one workshop, but in a more design thinking sense since most of the participants do not have a prior design knowledge or experience, and it has to be suitable to accommodate their needs and preferences.

During my tutorial I was encouraged to think about how there would be various alternatives to each activity to accommodate everyone’s thinking and style of communication, and making sure everyone is being able to put in their fullest and participate and I am going to look into it as well, and also estimate the cost of products if I’m interested in developing and selling them as it would be an essential question asked by most participants and I have to look into leather costs in London, and being able to provide an estimate from there, only at a material cost level, but I do feel like most of the people attending the workshop would have a decent disposable income to spend on their products since there is a correlation between income and exploration, but a pre-workshop questionnaire on their basic information would give me a better understanding of the market and people who’d buy these products, but in other terms I also came across pleasure garden who do accessible BDSM gear, but more in terms of support mechanisms and furniture sorta thing, but it’d be interesting to contact them and talk to them about their product range and so on!

 I also have to look a bit into how to analyse design thinking and data a bit more deeper than what I already know, and I think it is important to make it as much as a design experience as much as possible for the participants, and I think it I would make a wholesome experience for the participants and also see how I could contact them after the workshop for a quick call about their experience about the workshop and how they felt and so on! 

On the other hand, jared was kind enough to reimburse me for the stationery and printing costs for pinkypromise and I might propose a better idea for them to collaborate with them the next time! 

24/10

I made a mock workshop book to do myself and see how a participant would feel, but I am unable to imagine an alternative to the book, which is much more accessible to people, and I also structured it out allotting the most time to ideating and prototyping (40 mins each) and ideation and definition are allotted 30 mins, and 2 breaks of 5min and 10 mins each, I hope I am able to stick to this format, but otherwise also hoping to extend only 30 mins beyond! I also imagine I’ll be guiding a lot of people in navigating the process and helping them express their ideas! I think I have designed the mock book to gather most of my data for me, like in terms of what they’d change and why as well as their reflections on the process, I would also offer the option of creating the product for them, but when do I do that is the question to be answered and I can’t think of a better time than the start, since it could either be an incentive or it might not! I have also sent mail to Sasha, an expert stakeholder to see if they’re interested in joining the workshop to get some expert feedback on the process and journey! I also checked into Enhance, and turns out I missed their mail since it went into another folder but they’re happy to collaborate as well, which is lovely and might be able to pass the information to the right people, this seems like good news since it enhances the quality of a major intervention and makes the most out of it as well! 

I am going to explore various alternatives to the handbook, but I am going to have to make a small list of materials I need to buy before the workshop, and I am looking into buying satin ribbons which are wide as an alternative for fabric so that people can prototype easily since most of the products are around strappy width in general so would be easier to do so! 

OHH, a padlet could be a digital version of the workshop book, and maybe people who’re more comfortable online can use the padlet or even Canva board!

Recently, during Dragon’s Den, it was pointed out that people who’d attend workshops are still able-bodied to a certain extent and I should look into how I could incorporate this model in an online mode and I think this is something I could explore when I move further in this direction and have a better framework and understanding of process, but it was definitely a good input, 

I also have to make a pre-workshop form to be able to collect demographic and user data prior to the workshop so that it’s easier to analyse, evaluate and incorporate into the report, but somehow I have a feeling that I’ve come a full circle with where I am at right now, in the sense that I wanted to do products around kink, but with Box of uncertainties I felt a stronger pull with kink-shaming and exploration, and so on, and eventually I am at products in a very different sense but I have this understanding and knowledge around the community which I previously did not, and this makes me so happy and feel like I am doing something worthwhile! I also have to go look at books on analysing design-thinking to help me compile data and look at things which might not be so obvious! 

30/10

The day before the workshop, which is on 28/10, I felt very overwhelmed and anxious about the workshop, and prior to that I did send out a survey to analyse and understand the participants and created a book for the workshop for the participants to design their own BDSM gear, but I had 6 products to make it easier to analyse and understand, which was a choker & leash, handcuffs, paddle, riding crop, ankle cuffs and mouth gag, and on the day of the workshop, people who had RSVP’d weren’t doing well or had to work and couldn’t attend, which now I understand is a limitation and should do the workshop online and probably on a weekend as well so that people would be interested in attending the workshop as well! 

12 people had RSVP’d to the workshop and this was after a vetting process done to ensure people with accessible needs actually came to the workshop, because I had people sending messages to book slots, who had thought it was a crafting workshop, or they were interested in it because they were kinky and creatives, or they were a designer and so on, which isn’t what the workshop is, and it’s a simple question reading, “Hi, thanks for your interest, can you tell me a bit about why you wanna attend this workshop?” And this question acts a simple vetting tool and goes a long way to ensure that people who have accessibility issues come to the workshop, and on the day of the workshop, there were 3 people other than me, which is still a start and I think it shows proof of concept to a certain extent, alongside other limitations and things to improve which are that I should consider online options and host during the weekends!

On the other side, I think the participants engaged with the activities, and they were bouncing ideas off each other, and looking for so many different methods of closures and so on to understand what would work, and had so many brilliant ideas, and they were able to keep up until ideation, but after that they thought it was over when I brought out the ribbons and fabrics for prototyping, thank God for the idea of buying ribbons which is what most people had used, and 10 minutes into the workshop I felt awkward and sat down to do it myself rather than standing around and it turned into a bit more chill vibe and everyone was chatting and there wasn’t really a need for a break, which was great since we finished early, but overall the insights were really nice and helpful, and I will be checking in with them next week, when they’ve also had some time to process it, but all of them had mentioned that they would like to see the prototypes made into products, and I think I should make a database around what these people preferred and I think we will see some common patterns emerging when I engage with more people, since one of the participants mentioned that even though they had similar problems with the products, their implementation and aesthetics would be completely since it depended on various factors like sensitivity, likeness for pain/pleasure and personal style and other values such as sustainability, since this was also something they had talked about when I had asked about material would they make that in and the response was that leather is rather hard and stiff, and so they would want something more softer, but still durable, and another interesting development was interchangeable linings so that it can worn outside of play as well and VELCRO and POPPERS were a BIG NO, cause it wasn’t sexy and I agree, I wouldn’t wanna be in a play scene and have velcro come off, it’d be a big turn-off for everyone around me, and embarrassing for me as well, like so embarrassing and looks do matter, like how sexy it is or even when one uses it how sexy it is, and one was interested in it being vegan leather since in their opinion it is softer and their friend circle is mostly vegan and uses vegan products and it affects their choice, but another participant said even if they were vegan in dietary preference, they wouldn’t go so far as to the extent of using “plastic” products in the name of veganism and so on, which also makes me also think about sustainability and alternative materials and how some people would prefer alternative materials based off their circles, and also we touched upon faux fur as a material, so this is where it got a bit tricky is that they’d prefer real fur, purchased from vintage stores over faux fur so is it also a matter of hand-me downs and circularity and so on? They also brought up an interesting point about products being made to ensure they’re able to get them off by themselves in a scene, if they feel uncomfortable and their partner didn’t listen to them, which is important and I think this is where safer products come in, as well as ensuring they’re all body-safe and work for bondage and impact whilst being safer for the person it is being used upon! I think really developing and pricing them according to their responses in the questionnaire is important! 

In today’s class around Holistic view, we had different checklist prompts and we did them and I have attached them below here:

Unit four assessment checklist

1. I have arrived at my current question through previous interventions, observations, personal experiences, market research, surveys, expert and stakeholder feedback and academic sources!
2. Action research, Human-centered design and co-design are the key methodologies, and they’re in direct relation to my question because kink is very human, personal and different for everyone and hence participatory methods to ensure better product experience and satisfaction! Add gender studies and so on
3. I think I have a decent understanding of the context of my RQ, but I would like to dig deeper and have better socio-cultural understanding around my field!
4. Yes, my interventions around creating safer spaces alongside personal observations, market research and surveys have informed my current question
5. Professional feedback from Eunice Hung, Sasha Damajanowski, Betti Marenko, Jared from PinkyPromise, Jennie from Enhance 
6. Feedback from stakeholders who’ll benefit from this change and how they feel it would impact them!
7. Yes, I have incorporated feedback I have received from my previous interventions into the current questions and interventions!
8. Yes, I have taken informed consent from all participants, and do not record conversations during interventions due to the personal nature of topic and questions surrounding it.
9. As a result of my research, I think I have the potential to change the way BDSM gear is thought about, designed and made and help the community be more inclusive
10. After the course, I would like to continue this work as a small business and see where it takes me!

Unit four Project checklist

1. Yes, id like to think I have, which is how I want to continue this one after uni
2. I’m not sure what “local” and “tourist” here refers to, but if it’s about as an insider and outsider, my work is auto ethnographic in nature, so I am on the inside and outside, not so much on the inside in comparison to other people/stakeholders.
3. Yes, as an insider I have an understanding of how my stakeholder group behaves and thinks, and their likes, dislikes and so on.
4. Yes, I have engaged in activities/events to observe and understand
5. Yes, I have engaged my user group/stakeholders in my project through co-design
6. Yes, I have, and am yet to do more and gain better socio-cultural understanding.
7. They have, mind-mapping, brainstorming and sketching out interventions and structuring them, have helped me match them with the gaps identified through the reflective and evaluative process, and try to bridge the gaps
8. I have incorporated principles of action research and participatory design in my work.- ethics 
9. Yes, I can visualise and share my ideas
10. I can present my ideas, and share the new knowledge that I have received from interventions
11. Yes, prototyping and self-testing has informed the intervention design process to allow for better products to be made!
12. Yes, testing the ideas with stakeholder groups, and I think the idea requires further testing and refinement
13. Yes, I have from previous interventions and would require more feedback to develop them further!
14. Human-centred design in itself is an iterative process, so maybe?
15. I would not want to sell my idea literally, but I do see it happening in a commercial scale and would want to own it myself.- think about how to use it as a skillset for jobs!
16. Yes, I can and hope to get feedback from them as well!

I think the important thing I have to think about here is how to make this project as a set of transferable skillset for various employers and potential future employers and so on, as well more reading to be able to contextualise my learnings and so on!

How can we create safer, inclusive and accessible BDSM gear?

5/9

Today, I did the interactive experience at PinkyPromise, which was not quite how I expected it to go, but I guess all observations and feedback is good right, but when I say not good its in terms of what was expected numerically, and the literal engagement rate, so for the Sensual BINGO, I had 160 cards printed out to err on the side of caution as opposed to 100, and I think only upto 30-40 were given, since there was pink lighting(which I had not anticipated) and there was pink text, it wasn’t legible much, and I wasn’t stocking pens/pencils(for the mere reason that I might not find the people and get it back) which made it hard for people to actually do it, but this was a choice I had made prior to the game, so I am not too mad about it, and as for the pleasure hunt had a fairly decent response as opposed to the rest and, it’s funny how most people referred themselves to the qualities of Intuition, imagination, empathy, idealism, spirituality, and their synonyms and tangents, but as the evening progressed and the main event had started people weren’t as interested in engaging or rather it was harder to engage people with so many others to talk to, which is why most people are here, and people had recommended the games to some of their friends who had joined later, but when the main event started the workshops also started so it was definitely a bit harder to hold attention to the games I was offering and this is something I should work on and maybe a club setting requires adjusting the experience in a different aspect and so on, or it could be an event in itself happening? I do not know how many people interacted with different parts of the pleasure hunt separately and how it enable them to think more about things/relationships. On the other hand, there was a Shibari workshop which I thought was really fun and I tried it out with a person who was sitting next to me, and the experience was good since it was about intimacy and having a connection with your partner, but I personally thought it would have been better if it was with someone I already know it would’ve been easier to connect and trust but the other person was definitely careful and kept checking in to see if I was okay and doing well, and at around 1:30am, I was unable to engage people since it did not make any sense and talked to people and met some friends I knew and bumped into and it was definitely a good experience, but I wouldn’t say I was as into it as the other events since I told my parents about the event I was doing and they don’t really approve of my pursuing a topic in sexual wellness, esp. something which is considered “abnormal” and as a conservative Indian mindset would look at it, they were worried for my safety even though it is definitely safer than most regular clubs/parties I have been to, and I guess unconsciously their opinions got to me, even though I didn’t want it to, and it was probably a deterrent into why I was unable to engage harder, possibly because I had some emotional turmoil from “coming out” in a sense which isn’t acceptable to them and having unsupportive words said from your closest people maybe impacted this, and well I hope to do better at the next workshop I host on 29/10 at the campus, yay to timetabling, Zuleika and Richard for helping me out in booking a space on-campus but now I have limited time and have to prioritise what activities will be done at the workshop and how it’s adds to my project as well as the future, and I do have two avenues going on and multiple thoughts and I do have to streamline and connect them to form a meaningful workshop which benefits the participants as well as my project and research, but where to start and how to proceed? Co-creation of products to understand consumer wants and needs? Understanding the exploratory framework from the design process and using it to create products, which is the same idea I had proposed to Eunice for a collaboration. I would have to figure out what I wanna do by the mid of next week, in order to send out mails and engage people and collect participants, and if I am doing products, source the required material and so on, and where to find them etc., but on a overall through my interventions I see a pattern of games being developed with various frameworks and settings to help aid in exploration and understanding of various aspects of one’s preferences, but do I see a future in designing games, idk? Do I see a future in designing products? Yes!, so maybe I have to figure out what I want to do versus what’s happening and streamline accordingly, but if I do go the product route I could use the workshop as a means of design research to create various products which would help a particular group of people!

10/10 

This shows all the thought processes  and uncertainties that revolve right now in terms of whether my question is viable enough and the different methodologies to be used/can be used in the context for the development of products.

14/9

Today, as I was talking to my tutor about all my challenges and uncertainty as I am someone who works back from a deadline, I was quite keen on getting feedback around how to proceed and what other aspects my project involves, I realised a few more aspects which are important which is the aesthetics of it, as well as it’s appeal to daily wear and fashion, as well as how this intervention or the rest of my course informs my overall career, and I want to be able to maximise this workshop to be able to resonate with my overall process and methodology to be followed right now, and I think human-centered design is a good framework, since it gives the users power over the products and what they want and require and what they need, but I also have to keep in mind to structure the workshop around it to be able to understand and encapsulate the human experience, and also make the participants think about it and their experience with the product and having to provoke that thought in them is important, and also thinking about to what extent are they going to be interested in giving me their prototypes for a finished product and if they’d want to see a clean finished version of this product, because this product helps both the consumer and me as a researcher in a initial design stage to analyse, evaluate and understand consumer wants and needs, and another important thing which was pointed out to me was that making sure that I target audience who require special needs and have access requirements for BDSM gear, and this requires careful crafting of the message to be put up on FetLife, and also on whatsapp groups, instagram and so on, but overall I think following the methodology in “people centered design” but also research into other case studies of HCD in different sectors and the methodologies which have worked for them!

21/9

Tonight, well yesterday-today sorta merged in when I went to KV’s birthday party, which was good, I was unable to attend their talk show, since the tickets for the show as well as the event were outta my budget, but I went to the main party, and it was good, when I got there, the members’ queue was longer than the non-members’ queue which was funny and I got chatting with people in the line, who were all just as surprised as I was, but one look up and we could see the people in the smoking area balcony in their beautiful outfits overlooking the street. I would say there was a line for pretty much everything including the social lounge and toilets. Key points to be noted was that I noticed a decent ratio of POC, as well as people expressing their sexuality freely and personally my outfit isn’t something I would normally be comfortable wearing, but in the space I felt comfortable enough to wear it and own upto  it, which I think is a powerful emotion to recognise and create. I saw someone who was in strict violation of the dress code getting kicked out of the club, and the person in front of me, responded by saying, ‘They should be’, since they’re in clear violation of the dress code set by the club and it sorta spoils the vibe in the space. Another key thing I noticed was that I was unable to check my handbag into the cloakroom due to the long queue, but I carried it around everywhere with me, and I did have the fear of people taking things, since there are a lot of people but I would say there was a level of conscientiousness amongst people, which is important, but I also remember an interesting conversation from elsewhere with another person, who had mentioned that people who do attend these events and so on, do have a good level of disposable income and I think there could be a connection within financial security and exploration, which adds in, and I have a friend who has worked on a dissertation similar to this so talking to him would be a good idea to gain some perspective. 

I had also reached out to Enhance, and I am talking to their CEO on the 30/9 about my project and see how it goes, I am definitely excited about it. I am also noticing that my interactions with people have become more personal rather than professional and sometimes that kinda makes me feel unproductive, but I was talking to someone in queue who told me that products would be a huge market in terms of being able to sell them in the community. 

For the pop-up showcase I created something which is a jigsaw style to show the parallels, tangents and development of the project over the past couple of months, but it also incomplete which shows the room to improve and change as a result of past work, and I was thinking about the colour I wanted for this project and I came up with a pinkish sorta colour, which to me represents the mixture of red and white, where red depicts strength, power and wildness, whereas white depicts beginnings and the uneven combination of these two produces various shades of pink which depicts the flow and dynamics within ourselves and our relationships with others, and it is also a colour often associated with sensuality and pleasure. 

30/9

Over the last week, I had gotten feedback during my tutorial that I was working in two different directions which is counter-productive and I chose to do the product design direction so that it’s productive and more useful, and innovative in the sense that it is useful to people and hence would gain traction! 

I did pretty much nothing over the weekend since it was birthday weekend, definitely had fun, so small break much required.

The course leader, Richard was kind enough to make a personal introduction to a faculty on the industrial design course who would help provide some guideline and context to the process and lend their expertise. 

The other event is Pinky Promise over the weekend, and the games of Sensual Bingo and Pleasure hunt were suggested by Jared, which would overall fit the vibe of the event, and it’ll be done twice one at the pre-drinks social and the other at the entrance of the game, I had expected it to be a booth sorta-setup but Jared felt it’d be more personal if I were to personally engage and this would actually be better since I can also map out different experiences, interactions and feedback alongside, and I am going to design the cards and prompts so on for printing!|

I met with Jen today, who is the CEO of Enhance, an organisation focusing on sex and disability and they also have a product line of accessible sex toys, and there is a possible collaboration because we talked about making BDSM gear more accessible and this was something I did not expect right now, but Jen talked about their process of developing their lines, and that Rocks Off who carry the products are always looking for people and it wouldn’t be a conflict of interest since I am interested in different toys, and now I can focus on drafting a proposal for Jen before Pinky promise so that they have time to go over it and work alongside it, because I have had issues with creating focus groups in the past, but Jen had mentioned that they’d be happy to help and it wouldn’t really be a conflict and would be quite useful actually, so hoping this kicks off soon! I was also able to offer to book a learning pod if it is less than 8 people as a venue to do it in-person in London!

Overall I would say I am taking this project in a way which is more beneficial to my long-term goals, which is being an entrepreneur, and this is meaningful work according to me and encompasses my skillset and abilities, but creating spaces would also work into this somewhere in the future, but I am going to focus on creating these products since it would be a gateway into my future, and I am quite excited about it, but also nervous and scared since I am literally stepping into something I have dreamed about for a while ever since I realise that kink is something I am passionate about, but didn’t know what quite exactly would stick, but I definitely think this has good potential and entrepreneurial capacity!

‘How can we create safe, exploratory kink spaces?’

9/9

The assessment got over and went well, and on 4/9 I went to TFB x East, and there were so many people which got a bit overwhelming for me, but I still met some new people and talked to them and also with some people I already knew, I decided to take a break for the weekend and then focus on the upcoming collaborations and interventions, and brainstorm a couple of ideas for pinky promise’s event pitch and that has been going well, as well as updating Eunice on the framework for the upcoming workshop too. 

I was able to get some perspective from a tutor on how to curate and experience, and how it would relate to my project and some possible ideas which I could develop and work on and I am looking forward to it. 

5 things I want to convey/feel

• Sensual
• Playful
• Safe
• Fluid
• Freeflowing

Theme is sensual sci-fi

Ice breakers:

• Sensual Bingo: Create bingo cards with fun and unique traits or experiences (e.g., “Talk about a kink/fetish you want to try,” “Have used food in a scene,” “Has/is in a power dynamic“). People have to move around and find people who fit each square. They have to get a full line (horizontally, vertically, or diagonally). This encourages everyone to interact with a wide range of people. 
• Cybernetic Chemistry: Participants are given a scenario where they are futuristic beings interacting for the first time, exploring their desires with one another. They can exchange dialogue in character, based on prompts like: “You are an android designed to sense human emotions through touch” or “You can send signals of attraction through the nails.”

Aside from this I should go back and see from my previous interventions which activities have helped people connect and engage better, and some inspiration from children/teenage icebreakers, but I also want this experience to be more than interesting ice-breakers, I want to take it further than helping people talk to one another, possibly like a scavenger hunt together, so here I think the format of foreplay-peak-aftercare helps, because this is possibly what I want people to feel, look for a similar partner, do an activity to bond/explore and also reflect on it (which also gives me feedback/review and a way to measure the impact of the activity)

Pleasure Hunt:  

Step 1: Each participant is assigned a planet or celestial body at the door/entrance, based off describing themselves in one word for (e.g., “Venus is known for its warm, calming winds, which induce a trance-like relaxation”). Afterward, they have to match with someone who is the same planet, and they come back to go to the next steps on the hunt.

Step 2: Design a gear system which randomly connects words to form an activity to do on-spot, this can be repeated many number of times. (Can be modified to be prompts to play/ during playtime)

How do I approach people:

1. Introduce myself
2. Ask them if they’re with a friend or by themselves
3. Ask them if it’s their first time or if they’ve been there before
4. Ask if I can sit with them (sometimes)
5. Ask them if they’re from London or not, and whereabouts are they from, and share the same information!
6. Ask them what they do, since they usually ask what I moved here for, which is my MA, and start talking about something in common!

12/9

7. Lunar Lanes: Participants roll a dice and hop the number shown and land on different letters placed within the squares. From here, they need to announce a kink they haven’t done, but are willing to beginning with that letter before putting their leg down. For example, “d”: I have never tried degradation.
8. Starlight Temptation: Have the participants  sit in a circle for this activity and have each of them try to make the other one laugh.One(A) of them must use props, funny faces, silly dances, and goofy gestures to get them to laugh, and the one who laughs first will be punished by A.

Pleasure hunt

Step 3: Participants will be given sheets and pen, and can sit in a cozy nook to relax and reflect on their experience by themselves or with their partner(s)

I also realise I have to focus on engaging all five senses throughout the experience is also important to provide a sensual experience, in terms of smell, taste, touch, sight as well as hearing, and I have to figure out how to actually incorporate these sensory elements, but this requires further discussion with the organisers as well, and what I can do in terms of creating a sensory experience as well!  

I have to ask about dimensions, furniture availability, accessibility needs, as well as budget which is also important and something to be mindful about! 

On the other hand, I noticed that my method of connecting with new people works in kink spaces, but when I employed it at a pub, it didn’t work as much which leads me to believe that people in kink spaces are naturally more explorative or the nature is, and so naturally approaching someone works in a space which is explorative and most people aim to meet other people like them!

13/9

As I was scrolling through Instagram, I saw an comedy improv reel, where two people say one word and it becomes a story, which I thought would be a fun game for people to do. 

So another game: Gravity Shift. Participants of 2 or more, start with a random and in the span of 60secs, have to improv words based off what the other person has said to form a sentence/paragraph, without stopping!

A little intense one which I have developed based off Star Wars, since that’s one of the scifi I have watched, which is based off the Jedi mind control and the Force acting together to persuade the subject into giving them information

Jedi Mind Trick:One partner (the Jedi) must try to “mind-trick” their partner (the subject) into performing sensual acts or answering intimate questions. The twist is that they must do so using soft, persuasive language, like, “You want to kiss me,” or “You will tell me your deepest desire.” The subject can playfully resist but must eventually give in to the mind trick after some light persuasion.

I also have to make a moodboard to capture the vibe I want and the aesthetics as well as develop the prompts and designs for each game. I am going to take inspiration from their event poster for the colour palette. 

Funny thing, I am looking for pictures to transform to put in my moodboard, and when I type ‘sensory space’ on Pinterest, I get a lot of apt pictures, but ‘sci-fi space’ or ‘sensual space’ did not work, although they’re leading in a way to inspire game names, but all of the ‘sensory space’ which is my vision for this interactive experience are found in designing spaces for people with ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) which is surprising, since these are also considered to be a sensory experience.

14/9

Today, Charmskool house is hosting an art&fetish event at the start of LFW, and there are so many vendors and artists showcasing at the event, but I am unable to go since I am working a part-time job at the same time as well, and I feel so mad and frustrated about it since this event would’ve been a good time for me to connect with various vendors and understand their EDI policies and product diversity in the kink sector. I sold the tickets to a friend of mine, hopefully they have a good time, but I genuinely feel sad about it since I don’t think they’re doing another and it’d have been a good networking opportunity.

19/9

Recently, I had gone to Riposte, which is a queer art rave which is mostly a queer rave with artists showcasing their work and performing, as well as a small playroom, which didn’t have any Bdsm furniture or equipment, and mostly couches and a small room at the venue, but it was understandable since it is mostly a queer rave with artists performing and showcasing their work. 

On a side note, I was able to finish my pitch to PinkyPromise for their interactive experience which will give me a way to test how products work in helping people explore and connect, and there is one idea I am biased upon which is the pleasure since it goes beyond ice breakers and helps in doing rather than talking, which are both important, but the funny bit is that our festival planning is  multiverse themed and the pitch was sensual sci-fi themed and so there was a bit of overlap with the both and it was honestly quite interesting and fun to see how two completely different ideas in different contexts, and spaces can have overlaps and connections. 

In other action or plans to be implemented, I have reached out to Eunice Hung for a collaboration, but I haven’t gotten back a response from her, but I am still going to go ahead and plan the workshop as intended for the second week of October (if pinky promise happens) otherwise first week of October, and I have to make a checklist of items and people to gather and contact for this workshop as well. My main challenge here is to make it affordable for people to sign up so that there’s a good majority of people coming in as well as brand it in a way to portray it’s inclusive nature as well! But I also have a restriction since it is a workshop with crafting and I would require to organise and purchase materials and this would mean I need an organised and set list of people who’ll be coming in!

I personally have a good feeling about both the upcoming collaborations, and I have reached out to Enhance, an organisation which works with disabled people, and also have toys designed to suit needs, and I am hoping to talk to them soon and see what they say!

On second thoughts, I should reach out to companies and organisations on Instagram since mails don’t seem to work anymore.

I do see a strong potential in trying to solve disability problems in terms of bdsm gear and garments, and alongside have workshops to promote exploration and so on, that’d actually be quite innovative I hope, and I am closing down the Kink EDI survey and I have 15 responses and let’s see how that goes, analysing and interpreting the data!

For the hotrod project, I want to do something which is the opposite of the box of uncertainties, and so I am going to do something like puzzle and evidence style so that it the opposite of uncertainty but also leaves some room for missing pieces 

Overall, I do feel pretty good about how the project is headed, and I feel like I’m out of the ‘strictly research and reading’ phase to the more ‘let’s do it’ phase and actually applying a lot of different skills and knowledge in action right now, which feels so fulfilling and satisfying, but also a tad bit stressful, because with so many ideas and interventions and stakeholders, management of time and people is hectic, and managing to go to events to be updated on events in the community is also important!