10/3/2024
I have approached my tutors, with the mention of how uncomfortable the previous interaction, and suggestions on how it can be better, and I was asked to think about what is considered “safe” and “unsafe” in my personal perspective, and as I was reflecting and analysing the previous, I think it was the overwhelming nature of a new group and new people, space and etcetera, and I thought I shouldn’t be too ambitious and start small by building connections in and around my circle and university and friend groups, so I started by sending a message within the groups of my network, and I looked up various organisations which do support sex-positivity and work within this realm of supporting victims, as well as kink-aware therapists to find out different perspectives in this realm as well as a legal perspective to see if we have strict enough laws to cater to a more inclusive community. I sent out a very brief message on various groups, and had one respondent from the university, and I was able to set-up an in—person interview with him. I hope it goes well. In response to this, another person from my school personally approached me with wanting to talk about her experience.
15/3/2024
I have prepared my questions for the interview and printed out a few consent forms too. I am quite nervous but excited, and when I arrived earlier than expected at the venue, but he was kind enough to get coffee for us to relax the vibe, and I did not get right into the interview, because it would seem somewhat awkward and selfish, so we chatted for a bit and realised that he was also a similar background as I am, Indian and from a design school and had different experiences in kink than I did, but then we got to the interview in a quiet corner and I was given consent to audio record it, and we did talk about various aspects including media influence, cultural influence and counselling and support, post the incident and how having a kink-aware/non kink-aware therapist helped and shaped his various relationships in life. He also talked about how sometimes he has been in a position to make someone feel problematic, because I think we all might do that knowingly or unknowingly at some point in our lives done this with ourselves, to our peers etc., and it was quite brave of him to realise and acknowledge it, I think this is one step to becoming self-aware and accountable for our actions. Post-interview also we had a chat for a really long time and it was quite interesting since we come from similar backgrounds to see him open up, and turns out we both are eager to visit the same kink club in London, so we might try and visit it sometime. Well, I think in this process, I may have tried to create a safe space, or I am in the process of figuring out what a ‘safe space’ would look like, and I’m looking forward to talking to more people soon. I am also hoping to talk to the people from my uni.