How can we create safer kink exploratory spaces?
Limitation to be addressed:
A major limitation in this project is that due to the sensitive nature of the project and the questions asked to the participants and experts, I have chosen not to record the interactions with stakeholders and events, and due to the auto ethnographic nature of the research, a lot of events and situations have been considered to be a personal experience, but the analysis, reflections and learnings from these experiences count and inform my research process and thoughts as well.
15/8
Yesterday, I had a tutorial and preparing for the next one, and I am feeling particularly positive about my research, and was advised to embrace the fun and sensual aspect of the project, and am looking forward to the end of unit presentations and I advised to think and find out more about the consumer wants and needs in terms of accessibility, inclusivity and diversity and FetLife is a great platform to meet kinksters with disabilities and ask them about their experiences, and also at events to be able to see the accessibility needs for different needs, and whether they actually work and are in-place!?
Also, maybe do a survey on how people come across new kinks and learn new skills which would be very helpful in learning about what kind of spaces are required/preferred by the community, and see if actually products and gear is the way to go in terms of creating exploratory spaces, and maybe WGSN is a good source for consumer research!
Simultaneously I have to be vigilant about preparing the report and the presentations for end-of-unit assessment.
19/8
Yesterday, I attended a summer play party hosted by a kink club, this gave me a chance to look at EDI in kink spaces and it was my first one so I was both nervous and excited, but I told myself I can go have a good time and with a strict fetish dress code, I had to change in the venue before entering, and a lot of people got butt naked, which was nice to see people comfortable in their skin, and putting in effort to look and feel good, I myself changed into a top, harness and skirt, which made me feel really sexy and empowering, overtime as I was dancing and moving around and interacting, I was uncomfortable in the velvet skirt because of the heat, and felt confident enough to remove it and be comfortable and free, and I also mingled with some POC, people who’re visiting from various parts of Europe etc., so there was definitely a diverse group of people, but I was unable to spot people with disabilities (physically visible) which is also a bit concerning, but overall there was a pretty good awareness on disability, as someone with epilepsy at a techno club, the lighting was not too bad even in the playroom with strobe lighting it wasn’t too intense to trigger a reaction or even a headache. In terms of products for kink-diversity available in various spaces, definitely not a lot but it was coming from the perspective of hygiene in the space which makes sense, and people bring their own stuff if they have the intention to play, which is good in a way since they would know exactly what they like and want and will be able to implement the same! I was glad to see people of various age groups come in which was sweet and wholesome, and the older people definitely have a more welcoming attitude towards people who’re new to the scene or the city, like me and encourage one to pursue and go ahead which is comforting and reassuring to people who are new! I had also been informed about various POC kink groups to join to be able to meet similar people and understand their experiences, meanwhile I have also created a ‘Kink EDI’ survey which helps to understand exploration, diversity in products/spaces and inclusivity/accessibility. Kink EDI survey
From this experience, I would say there is a gap, but there are also spaces which might be more welcoming to POC, which I am yet to explore and I found out about an event called ‘Pinky Promise’ which has workshops, playrooms, dance etc., which sounds like something I was interested in doing but if there’s an event like this what can I do differently or what makes my project different and what concern does this address!
An interesting event was that my phone’s cameras were covered with stickers before entering the space, which was good, but then that means I have no evidence of various things I have seen and done but when I asked why they covered, they said that no matter the precautions some unwanted people are always in the background when they might not wanna be, which shows respect for consent and privacy!
I also found out about Kink Coalition in London which is an organisation in London which works to create ‘kink spaces’ and they could be a potential stakeholder or a key stakeholder in my project!
I am also interviewing one of my tutors, Sasha who also happens to be a coach in wellness space and conducts workshops in kink spaces as well, which could provide some useful insights into how professionals create safe spaces and enable various dialogues and conversations.
21/8
Post interviewing, Sasha, a wellness and conscious kink coach I feel renewed in my project and about the way it’s been shaping and that all contribution towards a positive change counts as change. I had also reached out to PinkyPromise’s organisers and they are open to collaborations and so I’m going to meet and talk with them next month and explore various possibilities, and also see how Kink Coalition which is legislating ‘kink spaces’ can also collaborate in my project, but also why KV declined an interview also seems to tickle my thought, since they also claim to be a safe space for kink, but off-recently I seem to have seen some ‘not so nice’ posts against them on social media which also makes me wonder what sorta incidents have taken place at KV which has caused them to defend themselves, but a little bit of nosey interrogation into that will shed some light on various power dynamics as well as various other things!
I am today at Bishopsgate Institute, to explore various aspects of my project from a cultural context and see how that helps, and also talking to the staff about my project would help me uncover new insights and new knowledge!
Notes:
-lesbian and Gay men’s experience of crime and policing: an exploratory study by Carole Truman, Catherine Bewley, Cath Hayes, David Boulton, Dec.1994
| Type of Crime | % of people | % of crime detailed in questionnaire | Males (no. in sample) | Females |
| Burglary | 53 | 18 | 51 | 54 |
| Car Crime | 45 | 15 | ||
| Assault in Home | 19 | 6 | 15 | 25 |
| Assault in pub/club | 29 | 10 | 33 | 25 |
| Assault in street | 40 | 14 | 49 | 27 |
| Queer bashing | 30 | 10 | 38 | 21 |
| Mugging | 18 | 6 | 23 | 10 |
| Sexual assault | 11 | 4 | 9 | 17 |
| Verbal abuse | 12 | 4 |
Reasons for dissatisfaction with the police and percentage giving the reason:
They don’t do anything-56
Homophobic comments-47
Unnecessary force used-20
Police did not take crime seriously-60
Police uninformed about HIV/AIDS-20
Reluctant to record a crime-37
Over intrusive-42
Conclusions:
- No evidence of lesbians and gay men being less likely to report crimes than the public at large
- 25% of respondents feel satisfied with the outcome.
- High levels of reporting crime do not seem to indicate unwillingness on the part of the lesbian and gay community to have contact with the police,
- Do not feel like they are given adequate service by the police.
The response of the criminal justice system to bias crime: an exploratory review, Peter Finn, Taylor McNeil, Oct.7,1987 contract no: OJP-86-002
Law enforcement changes:
-Thin line between what constitutes as harassment and what doesn’t in the eyes of law.
-Workable procedures to inform bias crimes and report them
-Identification of bias crimes, importance of collecting data on bias crimes, why it is not trivial or a mere prank, interviewing minority victims and be sensitive to their special concerns and needs.
-Participating in community task forces and with community leaders on hate violence.
Changes in Prosecution:
- having special statutes
- Increasing penalties conveys message that it is a serious offence.
- Strategies to convince judiciary that it is a serious thing.
While these reports maybe 20+ years old and are targeted towards the LGBTQIA+ community most of the problems and observations can be relevant today, and in intersection with the kink community as well, in the geographic location of UK and the US where they’re both based!
Wild side sex by Midori. Isbn 1-881943-22-4
Kinkycrafts: 99 DIY s/m toys for the kinky handy person 0-9739763-7-0
Reference books read to understand products and experiences.
26/8
Today, I am trying to revamp and reorganise my blog and started off with looking for some interesting themes to work with my project, and downloaded an interesting wordpress theme, but it won’t open on myblog, which is annoying, and I can not use any other similar themes from Themify as well for some reason! Now this is annoying and a lot of work, but also why won’t pages edit, or have sub-sections and navigable pages this is annoying Jesus.
27/8
Going back through my blog and restructuring it, I notice that a lot of insights also come from my personal experiences at these places, which I feel like I have not included since I consider them to be personal and that’s what auto ethnographic research is isn’t it? Our personal experiences also inform our research greatly, but to what extent do I mention it and evidence it, and where is the ethical boundary for stakeholders I interact with? These are some questions I have been wondering and if I should include those reflections in the log?
Recently, I have gotten on Feeld, it’s an app for the sexually explorative, and even though it’s very open about most relationship styles and kink-friendly, I think it is particularly over-whelming and lacks the human aspect and is basically a platform for people to find sex, and most people I have across are quite disrespectful and using it for a couple of days, has made me overwhelmed and anxious and really question myself and my choices, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to engage in casual sex/play but I would definitely like to see a space where there is more to it than sex/play and engage in conversations and communication, and as is the case with apps, there’s always an ethical concern of fraud, blackmail and manipulation which does not contribute to safety and healthier spaces!
28/8
I have been so tired and burnt out nowadays that I feel like I need a break from everything.
On a plus side, I talked to Eunice Hung, a kink-aware psychotherapist, who also does workshops alongside, as a possible collaboration for an intervention to test out the triangulated space in 13/8, and have gotten many useful points about organising the workshop and designing it and keeping in mind the time constraints of conducting workshops and so on, as well as a conversation about products and accessibility and knowledge, and having a disabled practitioner as well would be helpful.
I guess my main mental state right now is tired, exhausted and burnt out due to all of the various things I have been doing, from the multiple tedious workshops, the creative block and block, the opening up and new knowledge of multiple avenues and the overwhelming aspect of it all.
The U25s organisers were looking another person to help out at the munch in terms of keeping an eye out on people, since the event tends to have a lot of people and 2 organisers are unable to stay on top of things. I volunteered to do this since it gives a better idea of hosting and understanding events and safeguarding in kink spaces, and one of the key things or responsibilities was confrontation with people who’re being indecent or creepy and the U25 is on Friday so I’m looking forward to that experience.
29/8
Today, I caught up with Dana, and got her feedback on my project, and she said that accessibility and inclusivity is a pretty big problem which definitely needs a lot of work, and her perspective as a kinky wellness coach was that people know what they want and desire, but they have a bit fear, which leads to shame which leads to hindrance in communication and this actually made a lot of sense. In terms of POC inclusivity it is that when someone themselves is a POC others tend to gravitate towards their expertise which makes sense. She also pointed out how the interior ambience of a store can either invoke disgust or a sense of calm, and this proved to be a good point since the ambience of a place really reflects on a person’s mood. Particularly think these pointers are helpful in curating an fun, exploratory experience.
The report has been stressful since I feel like I am briefing my three months of work, but it turned out good and there’s a good amount of technical language and I am just surprised at the bibiliography, cause that’s longer than my actual report and I thought it was funny. I am going to soak in my first experience in monitoring a kink event and space, which I am very excited about, and I was trying to reflect on whether this is something personal to me or professional to me, but I don’t think I am able to separate them now, since they’re very intertwined, as in most auto-ethnographic research and as long as it enhances my research and helps it grow in a good direction I should be mindful of my interactions and their consequences. My EDI survey is already showing a good amount of useful responses. I am also excited for my presentation and going to prepare for it as well.