This page has all the interventions done in reverse chronological order:
Co-creation workshop: Accessible and Inclusive BDSM gear
refer to the tutor only for the design and development of the workshop
This workshop is aimed at people with access needs and who have trouble finding products for themselves, it incorporates a co-design methodology and focuses on letting consumers design products for themselves and see what works for them, this process is reiterated from the 7-step design process.
I had 20 slots for the workshop, and 13 people had signed up, I had to tell off other people since I asked a simple question as to why they wanted to attend the workshop, this ensures that people with genuine needs come into the workshop rather than people who thought it was a craft workshop or something to do on a weekday evening, which doesn’t serve the integrity of the place and the space I am trying to create.
I think people engaged quite quickly and were able to get comfortable and chatting quickly,and i did a pre-workshop survey to get demographic information on the participants and wanted to do a post-check in to see how they felt about it, which i think doesn’t work since they haven;t been able to get back to me, or takes a while to.
During the workshop, some key learnings were that they valued durability, strength, aesthetics, and “sexiness” as a quality also mattered a lot, other factors like friend group influence and so on also influenced their decisions on things such as material, style of products and so on.
Another important thing based off the questionnaire was that people with lower levels of income, preferred their products to be cheaper and vice versa.
Kinkxploratory spaces using products X Pinky Promise
refer to collaborations for more details
In order to test how products contribute to enabling exploration, I collaborated with PinkyPromise (intervention design) to do ice-breakers at their event, which was also their first time doing so, and at this point of intervention my position in the research was still autoethnographic, and I had mixed reviews and feelings around this intervention since the audience engaged with the games, and told me they were fun, especially. Sensual Bingo for which the feedback was that it helped them talk to other people, the drawback being the space had pink lighting and the text was pink which rendered it illegible to most audiences, as well as not providing incentives for BINGO, the other game of Pleasure Hunt had the drawback of the audience being at 1000people and not being able to find the other person they’re to be matched with, aside from this I have not been able to measure engagement with Step 2 and 3 individually since I was facilitating the games at the venue.
Despite the drawbacks and not meeting engagement expectations, the organiser had told me that people engaged with the event and seemed to enjoy it, and that they’d be open to discussion in collaborating for their next event in February, 2025., and this experience led me to believe that products do contribute to creating the feeling of exploration.
This conclusion led me to research a bit more into exploring products in the market, given my background in Leather Goods and Accessories Design, and prior experience in designing BDSM Gear.
Assessing EDI in kink spaces-Self Intervention
Yesterday, I attended a summer play party hosted by a kink club, this gave me a chance to look at EDI in kink spaces and it was my first one so I was both nervous and excited, but I told myself I can go have a good time and with a strict fetish dress code, I had to change in the venue before entering, and a lot of people got butt naked, which was nice to see people comfortable in their skin, and putting in effort to look and feel good, I myself changed into a top, harness and skirt, which made me feel really sexy and empowering, overtime as I was dancing and moving around and interacting, I was uncomfortable in the velvet skirt because of the heat, and felt confident enough to remove it and be comfortable and free, and I also mingled with some POC, people who’re visiting from various parts of Europe etc., so there was definitely a diverse group of people, but I was unable to spot people with disabilities (physically visible) which is also a bit concerning, but overall there was a pretty good awareness on disability, as someone with epilepsy at a techno club, the lighting was not too bad even in the playroom with strobe lighting it wasn’t too intense to trigger a reaction or even a headache. In terms of products for kink-diversity available in various spaces, definitely not a lot but it was coming from the perspective of hygiene in the space which makes sense, and people bring their own stuff if they have the intention to play, which is good in a way since they would know exactly what they like and want and will be able to implement the same! I was glad to see people of various age groups come in which was sweet and wholesome, and the older people definitely have a more welcoming attitude towards people who’re new to the scene or the city, like me and encourage one to pursue and go ahead which is comforting and reassuring to people who are new! I had also been informed about various POC kink groups to join to be able to meet similar people and understand their experiences, meanwhile I have also created a ‘Kink EDI’ survey which helps to understand exploration, diversity in products/spaces and inclusivity/accessibility. Kink EDI survey
From this experience, I would say there is a gap, but there are also spaces which might be more welcoming to POC, which I am yet to explore and I found out about an event called ‘Pinky Promise’ which has workshops, playrooms, dance etc., which sounds like something I was interested in doing but if there’s an event like this what can I do differently or what makes my project different and what concern does this address!
An interesting event was that my phone’s cameras were covered with stickers before entering the space, which was good, but then that means I have no evidence of various things I have seen and done but when I asked why they covered, they said that no matter the precautions some unwanted people are always in the background when they might not wanna be, which shows respect for consent and privacy!
Crossword Puzzle
In this intervention, I asked random people to fill out the same crossword puzzle I have used in Workshop 1.2 to understand their knowledge of safe words and boundaries and see how many they can fill in!
Puzzle designed:
U30s
One of my participants, from Workshop 1.1, also happens to be a good friend and he wanted to be able to explore more and talk to other and open up to various things in life, and asked if he could join me to attend the U30s munch, I was glad he wanted to get out of his comfort zone and we went together, and I explained what a munch is, and what to expect so that he’s not completely overwhelmed, and at the event we pretty much did our own separate thing, by talking to various different people and mingling with different people, and he was socially exhausted before I was, and so we left earlier. While walking back, I asked him about his experience and he said he did not like it, because most of the topics of conversation were vanilla and our conversation revolved around easing and getting into like harder topics so as to not come off too strong, and that it is okay to meet and learn about people who don’t necessarily have similar interests as you, but are like-minded in some way. This conversation gave me a different perspective on the exploratory process because it takes lot of understanding and courage to go to events and explore, and it also takes a lot of confidence and power to be able to have conversations.
Workshops 1.1. and 1.2
20/6
In addition to this, I have sent out mails to kickstart my series of 4 workshops as interventions, I have a small group of 4 people, which was not my initial aim of 10, but I have to start somewhere and hopefully this group expands over time.
The following text was sent to inform and also receive consent on various things which have not been mentioned in the sign-up sheet:
“Thanks for participating in my project, and today we’ll finally be kickstarting the series of workshops. I hope you’re as stoked as I am haha.
A little brief about what we’ll be doing:
- A series of 4 workshops in the next 3 months (one in every 2 weeks, all online) for 60-90 mins each approximately (can’t promise how long it might take)
- Each workshop aims to use different methods to navigate doubt/shame/internal conflict and reach the exploratory stage.
- Constructive feedback from you, the audience is required and highly appreciated, as this feedback after every workshop helps me design the next one better.
- I would encourage you to use the tools from the workshop in your everyday lives, and share how you’ve used them, and whether they were helpful or not.
- 3-5 days before the next workshop, I will send out a mail about the workshop and timings for the same, and a suggested list of tools I’d like you to keep at hand (mostly basic stationery and some sheets or notebook)
Workshops might be recorded for research purposes, and will not be presented anywhere but are purely to analyse and evaluate. Recordings will be deleted 1 year post-completion (kindly inform me, if you’re uncomfortable doing so.)
Also, please suggest a date between 27/6-29/6 and a time frame that works for you.
(Please note: the time and date which works for the majority will be considered)
Please revert back any questions you might have.
I am looking forward to working with you.’’
Workshop Design:
1/7- workshop 1.1
So yesterday, I did the first workshop, which started off with some hiccups, since it was supposed to happen on the 29/6, but people couldn’t make it, so postponed it to 30/6, and here also 2 people had problems with their network and had to leave, 1 was non-responsive, and so essentially I had 3 people, which was not mad.
Since it was pride month, I started off by asking people what Pride means to them, and about the situation of pride in their respective hometowns. Most of the notes or important words are attached above. I sticked to the structure I designed on 24/6, but I was unable to do the last step, of reimplementing the ‘identification’ in a more positive way, but this was the natural course of the workshop, because at step-2 or problem definition, as a group, they responded that they saw a pattern/theme of ‘communication’, which played a big role in their anxiety and self-doubt or is related to their shame/guilt. One of the participants brought up an interesting question to the group, which was,’How does one initiate a conversation about pain without ruining the mood?’, and as the group they discussed this point, and the participant seemed to get an answer. The general vibe was very slow, since I was expecting more enthusiastic responses, but I now understand I should be more enthusiastic and proactive about the activities and time them, so that I don’t run out of time, and leave space for conversation as well. Throughout the conversation, I was sharing knowledge from my experiences and research. I also thought it would be interesting to ask people whether these communication skills, which they developed here, helped them in their daily life, and they said that it helped them understand and communicate with people better to a certain extent, but they would like to do that better. The 3 participants mentioned that they would love to touch on the theme of ‘communication’ in the next workshop, with some sort of exercises to build skills, and this I think falls into the ‘ideate’ step of the design process, where I have to ideate exercises to help them ‘ideate’ different methods of communication, which sounds confusing, but I am also super excited to see how that turns out, and here I think the workshop, I will be attending will be helpful, since it is about how to open up a relationship, where communication will be a big part. Another feedback I received was to structure and send out an agenda prior to help people know what to look forward to. With the other 2 participants I asked them if they would be interested in doing the workshop separately and they said ‘yes’ and I have scheduled it for tomorrow, so I am also looking forward to that.
8/7 (Refer to entry on 16/7 for the process of intervention design)
On 2nd July, I did the same workshop with 2 other people, and here I was surprised to see that person was unable to describe what sexuality was for them, and hence were unable to describe or reflect on why they were unable to explore and so forth, whereas the other participant suggested that having a wider group would be better to learn different perspectives, and I think refining my method so that a person doesn’t have to commit would be a much more effective way and help me work and collect data better. I presume there’s pros and cons, so I want to be able to do one workshop with the entire process as is, and see how that’d play out versus a long-term approach.
About looking through my next workshop about communication, I don’t know what to look for or how to design exercises around the same, because talking about communication is vast, especially in terms of communicating and understanding non-verbal cues of a partner.
20/7 (for intervention design, see entry on 16/7)
Today, I did the 2nd workshop (notes at last), and we talked about communication, everyone could not make it( 1 repeater and 1new), which was interesting to see.
In the first activity of the crossword puzzle: they were able to guess 13/15 as a pair, as I had screenshared and filled it out. They were unable to guess ‘Hard No’ and ‘Abuse’, which shows a lack of recognition and knowledge about the extreme limits and violations.
In the second activity of charades: various kinks were demonstrated by myself and the participants and it was easily identifiable which shows a little knowledge about non-verbal communication and representing things which they like and know.
In the third activity of mind-mapping based off the mind-map I had developed in the previous entry, it was interesting to see how different conversations came up about beliefs and values in partners and oneself, and also about personal experiences with violation of personal spaces and boundaries in regular life in and out of kink, which also led to conversations around hoping men would communicate more and be more open, and how emotionally supportive and intellectually challenging conversations are required to be able to engage with their partners. A discussion into comparisons of sex-education in each other’s lives also arose which was also interesting to see, and also having male partners to open up and speak more about what they like and dislike and how it could also be due to cultural differences. When it came to their individual roles, one participant mentioned they don’t like labels and that it is restricting and another mentioned their role depends on their partner’s mood and what they wanna do in that moment.
In terms of boundaries, highly organised planning and protocols in negotiations whilst being safe and knowing what is going to happen is effective, and having scenes with relatively less organised planning can lead to crossing off limits and boundaries, and also communicating on the go about hard and soft limits makes it harder. ‘Would you like to try?’ And respecting the limit when it’s been crossed is also important and not pursuing it because they don’t like it is also important, and as much as curiosity is important, finding the limit and not crossing or manipulating it is also important. Finding the balance between organised and spontaneity is also important
Irrespective of role, aftercare is vital for everyone since it helps with emotional reset and discussing whether someone would repeat it or not is also important!
In the last activity of role-play: One person identified as submissive, and the other identified as a switch and they switched roles talked about negotiation, safe words, boundaries, aftercare based off their own individual mind-maps but in a different role in order to gain a different perspective. The other added what they would like to add to the existing one and said they would like to talk about in-depth about their limits, non-verbal cues, aftercare, limits in flexibility, feedback, and I also suggested about having things required in-hand to avoid stress and panic, which led to the conversation about sex in a scene, and STD/I as well as protection and other existing partners as well to be aware of the risks they are getting into, which led into the topic of expectations about the scene and what happens later and checking in to see how each other is doing and feeling about the dynamic over time is also important to ensure everyone is on the same page emotionally. I also added I would talk about how they’d interact in social settings and navigate it, and whether it would be social or in a playful context.
The participants mentioned that they felt this was a particular informative session and they all learned a lot!
When asked about what they would like to talk about next, one of them mentioned they would like to talk about ‘what to do when things go wrong?’ And I personally wanted to add predatory behaviour in this, and also about support systems and people, as well as one participant during the conversation had mentioned that they experience mood drops with a lack of aftercare, so how to navigate mood drops as a sub and Dom, and developing activities and examples to see and navigate the same!
I would say the only limitation in this session was it was all-female which allowed for transparent communication but it also lacked the other perspective of what men go through or how they feel and I say this because through my research I have also learnt that biological gender does affect our basic skills of communication, and I acknowledge that all relationships/dynamics do not have to male-female or no one has to conform to being a man/woman and are free to identify otherwise. I particularly felt like men could’ve benefitted from hearing the women’s perspective on things and how they communicate, and vice-versa, and help us in understanding how men feel and what they think at the back of their heads while communicating and understanding what they say, hesitate to say or don’t say, or even reason as to why they say what they say or do what they do, and it would have been of mutual benefit! I also regret not recording the session to be able to do thematic analysis as I had hoped, but no point in sulking right now, is there?